Dear Corbin,

It's been three months.

Three months without you here.

Today was our annual family reunion. All I could think about was I should have had you with me. I should be showing you off to family members that only come around this time of year. I should have been holding the hand of a toddler while carrying you in my arms.

It effects me, subconsciously. I was grouchy and I blamed it on being tired. But I know the truth. I miss you. I'm mad that I don't have you around to show off. I'm mad that most of your family never got the chance to meet you.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound selfish. I would never wish you back just to have you around because I know that it wouldn't take away your disease. I would never wish for you to be back in my arms just to suffer through more surgeries and hospital stays.

So I'm sorry for this rant, but I miss you.

I recently won two pieces of artwork that are going to make up your memorial wall. I haven't started on it yet since I'm waiting on those to arrive, but as soon as it is finished I will show you what it looks like.

Till next time Peanut,

Love mama.