Colt and Corbin

I took Monkey to the park today. Hubby is on night shift, so he sleeps during the day and we pretty much have the day to ourselves.

We were the first ones there, it was empty, but soon another car showed up with three kids. I watch as they all run towards the play set, Monkey not far behind them. The two boys are just a tad younger then Monkey, both blonde hair and the same smile.
I hear the mom call one's name, and I think "did she just say Colt? No."

I hear her call out to the other brother.."Did she just say Corbin? NO WAY".

I couldn't stand it. I had to ask.

"What are their names?"

"That one is Colt, and the other is Corbin. They're twins."

.........shock.......

"You will never believe this, but this one is Colton and my other is Corbin!"

"No way!"

I could NOT believe it. Not only do I rarely meet another Colton, it has been almost three years since I have heard the name Corbin in person.

I kept asking myself, what is the meaning behind this? Is this some type of sign? What am I supposed to learn from this? This cannot be a simple coincidence...there is something I am meant to take away from this. I could analyze this for days, but I think I met those two little boys to catch a glimpse into what they could have been. There is no great lesson or metaphor for something deep and moving. I believe I was simply meant to enjoy their company. The two boys were very friendly and too cute for words, the daughter was loving and talkative...I was entranced by them. Soaking up every second, burning it into my mind. I was looking into what could have been...what could have been me...what could have been my sons. It breaks my heart but at the same time, I loved every second. I didn't want to leave.

Oh God...thank you for letting me look into a little piece of what could have been. It was beautifully bittersweet. 

The Corbin Story Fund Adopt-A-Highway

Every time I would drive my first son Monkey, to my mother-in-law's, I would get so annoyed by the amount of trash on the side of the road. It didn't take me long before I had made up my mind: I am going to adopt this road and clean it up!

The process is quite easy. All you do is fill out a form with the road name and how long it is, send it in to get approved, and your done! The hardest part is getting people to help.

This past Sunday, I and three friends set out to start cleaning up the road. In the first 45 minutes we had filled three trash bags. 

We quickly realized that we hadn't even hit the hard part yet. There was a certain stretch of road the seemed to be "the spot" the throw trash since the 1970's.

We found old metal beer cans from 1975, large glass liquor bottles that said "It is against the law to sell this bottle", and soda cans from companies that don't exist anymore.

It was hard, sweaty work that had us cursing the fools that threw out all this trash, but in the end, it was a great feeling of accomplishment. It took 4 people, 2 hours to (over)fill 10 large trash bags and we didn't even get halfway down the adopted road. But it was so worth it.

If you live in Greenbrier County, WV and want to help, visit www.facebook.com/thecorbinstoryfund to join the cleanup and help support Corbin's Fund!

Where were you..

I was in 8th grade.
History class. Back of the row, next to the door. I remember thinking "it got really quiet"...then someone walked in and told us to turn on the TV.
My teacher did..and we just watched in complete silence and horror, as we saw the second plane hit the towers.

That's all I remember.

I don't know if they sent us home early, but I will never forget the disbelief I felt. The feeling I had, like I was watching a movie, there was no way this was real. No way that people are dying, right in front of my eyes...it can't be real.



An amazing woman, whose work you have seen before on this blog, created this to send love across the ocean from Australia.

Never forget

When it rains, it pours.

1. I had to cancel my 2nd fundraiser for The Corbin Story Fund due to insurance issues.

2. My husband's car broke down.

3. The engine needs replaced in said car.

4. Said engine is going to cost, with installation, about $3000.

5. My husband got fired. For no reason.

6. Said husband got his old job back within hours of said firing.

7. I had a meltdown at work.

8. Unable to gather $3000 so far.

9. When it rains, it pours.

Did I forget anything??

Oh yeah.
10. I need a vacation.

First fundraiser in Corbin's honor

The Corbin Story Fund had it's first fundraiser tonight.

Not one single person showed up. No phone calls, no fliers, no nothing. I called the restaurant to ask and the manager told me that one of his servers saw it on TV, but still nobody!

What do I have to say to get people to come?

You get to stuff your face, drink, pig out on dessert AND it helps a good cause!

Help raise awareness of something you have never heard of!

It's for a good cause, I promise!

Sigh.

I'm hurt. I'm disappointed, angry, sad, and hopeful at the same time.

Hopefully tomorrow will turn out better. 

I'm not giving up.

For southern West Virginian's: here is the deal- dinner at Chili's in Beckley tomorrow (July 2nd), from 4-10 pm, show up with the below flier, and have proceeds donated to my non-profit set up in Corbin's honor. 

That easy, and you get food! Please tell your friends, co-workers, your church, and your boy scout troupe. Help me raise money in Corbin's honor, for CHD and pulse ox awarness, for education, and for support for locals families that have lost a child. Do it for Corbin. Do it for your kids. Do it for the fuzzy feeling you get when you help someone out. But please just show up!

A hard road to walk

I'm all about sharing my feelings so that other's don't feel alone. But there are some things I just can NOT share because I know I will be judged. That's just the truth.

You may be thinking "No! You can tell me anything."
But that's not true and you know it.

There are some things that can not be said out loud. Some emotions that can not be shared. Some experiences, some emotions, some realizations, that cannot be share. Plain and simple. Period. No doubt about it.

I could tell you that I no longer find other's pregnancy announcements enjoyable and you will either relate, or frown and think "well, that's not cool.". It's just reality. No judgement here, just a plain and simple realization that others will ALWAYS think differently then me. That's ok. Sometimes it's not, but that's not my point. There are some things you can only share with your therapist or best friend. Like I did.

I love my therapist. I would see her again if I had the same insurance. But I don't. She is amazing. I recommend her to everyone. Our first appointment; she listened for an hour and half while I bawled, yelled, and laughed about the past year and a half. She never once looked at the clock or acted bored. She listened and nodded and laughed and wiped away tears as I told her my story. She is uh.mazing.

She changed my life.


Anyway. Back to what I was saying: you cannot always say what your are thinking. I'm here to tell you that is ok. Just because you have a blog and people follow it, does not mean you are an open book. That's ok if you are!! But some of the time, I'm not.