I came to visit you today. I put a little green wreath above your headstone and a green ribbon. I'm not used to this; decorating your headstone. I want you to be included though, and not forgotten.
As I was kneeling down, I noticed the headstone behind yours. It's new. Too new. Another mother has lost a child. His headstone was decorated so nicely, I felt like I hadn't done enough.

My biggest fear, as I looked down on your name, was that you were cold.

It's terrifying to think that way. The first time it rained, I had an incredible urge to go to your grave and hold an umbrella over your headstone so you wouldn't get wet. It breaks my heart to think of you that way. I know you aren't there, but just the thought of your body....

Oh God.